So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Randomize
