i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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