from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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