The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
