Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
