high people should be assigned attendants
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
