So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
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I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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