I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
