Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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