You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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