as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
