he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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