I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
