i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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