My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize