Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
