I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
