I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
