I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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