He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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