i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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