she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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