So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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