I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
