Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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