dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
