walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
