guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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