So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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