So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
