i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Welp...herpes.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
