I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
