why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
