I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
