halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
