i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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