Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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