If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Randomize
