Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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