I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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