whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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