He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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