I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize