I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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