so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Randomize
