I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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