i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize