The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How's work?
Spinning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
