There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
