I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
