There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
