How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
