careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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