I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize