So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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