dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize