every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
