Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
