You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize