u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
