Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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