The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
