Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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