i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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