Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
