I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I understand Curling. That high.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
