thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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