I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
